Yesterday, after Bryan got home, I passed the kids off to him so that I could catch a few minutes to myself. I warned Bryan that the kids had been a little batty that day and he would need to closely monitor them because they made it a mission that day to get into everything that they know is "off limits" to them. I also warned him that Dax kept taking his diaper off but he hadn't had any accidents around the house. I gave him a weak smile and quietly slipped out of the room as not to be detected by the children.
I closed the door to my room and nestled into my bed, flipped on the TV and started watching a show that I can only watch by myself (the bachelorette) because if I put it on with my husband around then he complains and says he is going to leave the room. Needless to say I was excited for the quiet and for the opportunity to watch a show without interruptions.
Have you ever heard the saying "don't count your chickens before they hatch"? Literally 3 minutes later my oldest son came bounding into the room adamant that he is going to watch the show with me, which really means, chat my ear off while i put subtitles on so i can catch at least half of the show. I shooed him out of the room and firmly told him that this was mommy's quiet time. About 5 minutes later I hear stomping coming up the stairs. I know immediately that it is Bryan who is about to enter the room next and interrupt my show for the second time. I start to feel upset that I cant have any time to myself, and seriously wonder if I have enough time to get up and lock the door before he gets there.
He comes into the room and has a smirk on his face which threw me off guard for a second. Instead of hollering that I need time alone I instead inquire about the look on his face. Timidly I ask "What is going on down there?" "come down stairs! You wont believe what Daxton just did!" I noticed some small stains on his shirt but didn't mention them. Partly because I was having visions of stains and spills on the cream carpet. I followed him downstairs, all the while bracing myself for whatever awaited me. To my surprise Bryan walked to the backyard door and began telling my what had happened.
Shortly after I went upstairs, Bryan and the kids went out back to ride bikes and scooters and whatever else happens in the backyard. Not to place any blame on my wonderful husband BUT when he is out there he gets on his phone while the kids play, and madness ensues, all the while his nose is planted in his screen. Well I guess after they came out, Bryan hadn't closed the door all of the way and Dax went back in by himself. Bryan claims that a couple of minutes later he heard Dax saying "poo poo, poo poo" he looked over to see a completely naked baby holding a bowl from my dinning room table ( the "do not touch" decorative bowls) and before he could figure out what was happening, Dax dumped the contents of the bowl on my husbands shirt. I'm sure that you have guessed by this point that the beautiful decorative bowl that has never been used in all of the years that I have had them, was full of poop.
Now it is still unclear weather he went inside and had to poop and thought that the bowl was as good a place as any other. Or, he pooped in his diaper, took it off, and then placed it lovingly in the bowl for his Father. Either way it was disgusting, unsanitary, and hilarious. I'm just glad it wasn't me!!
ahhh, the adventures of Mommyhood!
Until next time my lovelys!