Precious Time- Things I will miss when they grow up.

I don't know if I can write this without crying. I have been thinking a lot over the past few days about my kids growing up. Corbin's 4th birthday is just around the corner and all of this birthday planning has got me feeling pretty sentimental. I remember the long journey of my first pregnancy. Bry and I so in love (we still are :) ) and excitedly awaiting our first baby. We hung a calendar on the fridge and marked off each day as it passed to show our progress. Everyday was filled with so many "I love you's" spoken softly to my growing tummy. We would stay up long into the night talking about what we thought he would look like and which features from both of us that we would hope he would get. My first pregnancy was pretty picaresque, it was like walking in the clouds for nine months. Half way through a very hot summer, the big day had finally arrived. We checked into the hospital and waited as patiently as we could for our sweet boy to burst into the world. We waited, and waited. There were a few scares, and for a moment I was frightened that I would never get to hold my baby. After 38 hours of labor I had an emergency c-section. With in minutes the doctor and nurses announced "Your beautiful baby boy is here!" but still I heard nothing. No cry as he took his first gasp of air. I think my heart slowed down, and the sounds of all of the machines and pumps quieted along with it as I searched the room for any noise from him. I had a sheet in front of my face so that I couldn't see anything going on in the room. My husband called out  "Is he alright?" and as if Corbin knew his fathers voice, he called out with a big wail. We both burst into tears. Nothing can describe the happiness that you feel when you hear and see your baby for the first time. The nurse brought over a tightly wrapped up baby swaddled in a white blanket, with a little beanie on his head to me and said "he is perfect", and he was. He wasn't pasty white like most babies. It was like he had a slight tan. He had soft down brown hair, soft little lips, a beautiful nose, and the most perfect eyebrows that a baby could every have. Those days in the hospital went quickly and I couldn't wait to bring him home and start our life as a family. Everyday hasn't been perfect, but everyday has been a blessing. I feel so privileged to be this little boys mommy.

We were blessed again with another wonderful little boy a year and a half ago. He has made our lives even more blessed. My pregnancy with Daxton was not an easy one. He was very active which worried me as to what kind of personality that I was in store for. I also suffered with depression during the first five months of my pregnancy.  That is really hard to admit to the world. maybe i will make that a future post. My hormones were through the roof and all the while I was trying to be a perfect mother to Corbin. Daxton came into this world right on schedule. A giant chunky baby with a personality from day one that you couldn't help but fall head over heels in love with. He has continued to surprise and amaze me on a daily basis.

The love that I have for these two little boys is immeasurable. My heart swells at the thought of them. All to quickly these years are passing. Flying by as if they were weeks instead of years. On a daily basis I think about how great it will be when they can go hang out with friends, go to school, make their own breakfast. Im human, and although I love them to pieces, I look forward to their independence. This has also got me thinking about the things that I am going to miss about who they are now. They will always be my babies in my mind. No matter how big they get. No matter where life will take them. So these are some of the things that I will miss as they continue to grow.

Daxton Dances- This little boy of mine loves music. So much happiness pours out of this little boy when he dances. Although it is rarely  on beat as he sways or bounces around, you can see that need to move his body and the joy it brings him.

Character Underwear- I know this is a silly one but I love the drawer full of spiderman, star wars, monsters inc, and toy story underwear. Its just another sign of their all to short childhood. How many more years do I have left of lovingly folding and putting away these sweet reminders of how young and precious they are? It is going by to quickly!

Tiny Toes- Anyone who truly knows me, knows that I cant stand feet. Not even my own. But the exception to this is my children's little feet. I will miss all of the times that I had them cuddled up in my lap as we counted each toe over and over, doing "this little piggy", and nibbling their feet during a tickle fight.

Corn Silk Hair- Somehow I ended up with a blond haired little boy. From day one his hair has reminded me of pulling back the husk on a cob of corn and seeing the golden silk. In the beginning when I would give him a bath and then dry his hair off with a towel, it would get so fluffy and soft, and who can resist that smell of freshly washed baby hair? I will miss this the most.

Mispronunciations- Corbin speaks very well for his age but he does have trouble with some things. Ginormous usually comes out as ginorsaraus. Tree is pronounced twee. When he says prayers instead of Heavenly Father he says Heavenly Fadder. :)

Loud Noises- Not loud noises that they make, but rather when they hear loud noises and then come running to you for cover and safety. Like a mother duck holding her ducklings under her wings for protection, I welcome them into my arms for a snuggle and reassurance that everything will be okay.

Magic Mommy Kisses- There is not a scratch or a stubbed toe that a magic mommy kiss cannot fix in a heartbeat. My children will be in full meltdown mode, sobbing uncontrollably at times, and with one peck from mommy the tears will stop dead in their tracks and a smile will come to their faces. If only this trick would work for the rest of their lives. I would kiss away broken hearts, and hurt feelings that inevitably will come calling in the future.

Morning Wake Ups-  when they quietly climb up onto the bed in the morning and my cheeks and nose get covered in tender and loving kisses. I love opening my eyes and seeing their cute morning faces smiling at me.

And because this post is getting pretty long I will wrap this up with one last thing (although there are so many more things I will miss) 

Mommy Knows Everything- there is never a question that Corbin has, that he doesn't think I will have the right answer for. And I must admit that sometimes he will ask things that I am not sure what to say. One day he will turn to his friends or god for answers to his life questions instead of or before asking me. As most of us do. But for now I enjoy being his very own "Siri". 

I wish that I was able to lock away all of these memories in a box in the corner of my mind to pull out and dust off when my children are grown. The harsh reality is that we will forget so much of this stuff. I will leave you with these two videos. I love both of the songs. 

This second song makes me cry everytime I hear it. Im such a blubbering baby even as I am writting this post.

What are the things you are going to miss most once they have grown or already miss if your kids are now adults? I would love to hear about what you have to say.
Until next time my lovely's