Saturday, March 23, 2013

Oops.... It got thrown away!

I don't know about you but, my kids own 1,584,676 toys. Mostly made up of small stupid toys from Mc Donald's, Christmas stocking stuffers, and hand me downs. These kinds of toys are the bane of my existence! I find pieces stuck in couch cushions, between my bed sheet and the mattress (wtf), the sink, my bathtub, and the worst offender..... under my feet while walking in the dark!Walking in the dark around my house is sort of like playing my own game of mine sweeper.

Of course there are some toys that are worse then others. No, I'm not going to say Lego's. I would never put myself through that kind of agony. I am proud to say that I do not own any Lego's. Poor Corbin, I'm sure would love to know the joy of making colorful awesomeness out of Lego's, but I will not knowingly put myself through that sort of pain.

Here is my list of top offenders around my house:

Blocks! I'm talking the big, wood, painted on letters and numbers kind of blocks. These things can bring me to my knees cursing in the dark. The problem with blocks is that they roll under your foot as you step on them, making sure you get each corner good and dug into the soft and tender under skin of your foot. Now, I know every new parent thinks about how adorable it would be to see their little bundle of joy learning to stack blocks. How innocent they look painted in their soft pastel hues. But be warned, at night they have fangs and claws!

Little People. Just so that you know, Little people always travel with their posse! If you step on one then surely their Mother, Sister, Brother, Cousin, Father, Grandpa, and pet dog are waiting in the wings!

Cars..... ANY cars! Matchbox, Hot Wheels, Chuck the truck and his little jerk friends. It doesn't matter what kind.... they all suck in the dark. Not only will they leave you howling in pain but stepped on, on the right surface will give you some added speed to crash into an array of other potentially dangerous objects.

Why don't I own any Lincoln Logs???!!! It would seem that Lincoln Logs would be somewhat pleasurable to step on. At first, a little scary because they are hard but then soothing, like a foot massage rolling gently under your foot. I mean, if I had the choice between Lincoln Logs and a Burger King toy, I would definitely go with Lincoln Logs!

So now I have adopted the "walking stick" technique. This is were I use my foot and leg as a walking stick, slowly batting it about in front of me, swooshing from side to side. Feeling around for whatever may be lurking on the floor. Yes, it takes longer to get a drink of water because you are traveling just inches at a time, but it is much better then the above mentioned pain.

So in the light of day, when my son is not around, I pick up the once again innocent looking toys and put them where they belong. Sometimes while I am picking up the toys, I will see other things on the floor such as, a piece of plastic, wrapper etc. So I pick it all up in one swoop, and make my way to the garbage. After tossing away the trash I sometimes notice that, I have also dropped the toy that I was just about to put away, into the garbage can. Now, here is the point that I am faced with a decision..... Do I reach in and grab it out? Its sitting on top, totally visible. Not under anything gross or messy. It would be simple to just reach in and grab it out. Or do I just ignore it? They have other toys that they care more about!..................  Screw it! Rot in the dump you little jerk! And my kids are none the wiser! :)

Until next time my lovelys

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